One Star Review Thursday XVII


Cinco de Mayo is tomorrow, and for those of you who are not history buffs, it commemorates the Mexican Army’s victory over the French in 1862. It also means many people drink. One of my favorite Mexican beers to drink on such a holiday is Corona Extra.

downhillpunk32

“Another shitty beer out of Mexico. Nose smells like a skunk that’s been living in a truck stop bathroom. Mouthfeel is non-existent, it might as well be water. Aftertaste is of cheap corn and the insoles of gym shoes. Looks like a well hydrated person topped off a half-full glass of water with piss. Tastes about the same. I would rather cut a hole in my ballsack with a butter knife than have to stomach another sip of this swill. You may think I’m bashing it, but Corona deserves every word. Even more offensive is the price they sell it at. A product of marketing to non beer drinkers and nothing more”


Dithyram

“Served in a clear bottle–is there any other method by which the swill is tossed around?–as the only beer beyond Miller Light post softball last week. The lesser of two evils? Very hard to tell.

Clear piss yellow, no head, no retention, no lacing, minimal to no carbonation within the glass

Skunky lager smell

Yes, serve with several lemons, you will need it. Skunky corny adjunct flavors, and that is about it. I couldn’t think of anything I would rather not have while sitting on the beach, no matter what the advertising says. I cringed, people gave me strange looks. Weak, watery, possibly less bodied than lemon tinted tap water. Not drinkable at all.

I had a BBQ a few weeks back and only served fine micros and regional goodies. Several “friends” brought some brews of their own that went unattended. A leftover mixed 12 pack of Bud Light and Corona were amply used to water my flowers periodically. I smile when I do it”


MsRif

“I only ever drank this as a teenager desperate for an alcohol supply…it was (and still is) my dad’s beer of choice.

It pours a lovely yellow color…that of what I would imagine would be the color of the liquid that sprays from a skunk, which is quite appropriate because that is just about what this beer tastes like. It’s so horrendous that I actually used to hold my nose while drinking it to cut down on the affect on my palate. Tastes like skunked beer with a touch of third world wheat. As in, wheat from a patch that people have been using as a latrine.

Mouthfeel is actually not horrible, but the taste is so overwhelmingly bad that it’s still awful. Light to medium bodied with decent carbonation. Overall, this is something you should only drink when dying of thirst. Even then, maybe you should just forgo it and die with dignity.”

Looks like I will be picking up a 24 pack of Corona Extra for $25.99 tomorrow after work. Until then, keep up the battle against the French, and don’t forget the limes with the Coronas.

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