Why does Waldo keep hiding?

I bought the books, I saw the videos, and I put in the hours. Why does he keep hiding? If you don’t know who Waldo is, I will not fault you because this man likes to hide. Think of Anne Frank’s diary, but the opposite – where you have to find her, but in this case, him.

Waldo is a sneaky son of a bitch because he always seems to find crowds that have the same colored clothing as him, or at the very least, finds a plethora of people where there is too much clutter for the human eye to find him right away.

I don’t know why he does this. He seems like a normal looking bloke and probably has a witty anecdote about tablecloths, but we’ll never know. Maybe he suffered trauma when he was a toddler. Some sort of Mall of America PTSD that makes him always think back to large crowds, so he feels he has to hide within them to be hidden from them.

Maybe he’s a Waldensian, and that’s why he has a mononym for a name. For one day he will rise up their following in the name of Peter Waldo. The cheeky heretics they are. I don’t know, maybe it’s not of that, maybe I’ve put too much thought in a character that only exists in books and the mind of Martin Handford.

I’ve put out the amber alerts, called the local authorities, but no is taking me seriously. They say I’m crazy, but I just want to help the bastard come to the realization that its ok that he’s taller than most people. I want to tell him it’s ok to come out and meet new people.

Most of all, I just want him out so he can buy a new a pair of clothes. I bet that over the years, he’s started to smell like shit.

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