One Star Review Thursday X


Spring Break is a time when the alcohol is flowing freely, and at best, questionable decisions of all sorts are being made. Speaking of questionable decisions over spring break, let’s look at what new parent Dave has to say about his Eco-friendly disposable diapers!

Dave

“18 month-old doesn’t like!”

“Personally, I was ready to give these 2 or 3 stars, but my 18 month-old little one over-rode me with a non-verbal one-star warning. I’ll explain.

These are marketed as an eco-friendly brand of disposable diapers, which the more I thought about it seemed kind of odd. I know people feel very strongly about cloth vs. disposable, and I don’t want to start a flame war here, but these seem to be marketed towards people who want the convenience of disposables with the eco-guilt assuaging properties of cloth. I don’t see how it will satisfy people who want both, since these are far inferior to Pampers in just about every way and, at the end of the day, will end up in landfills regardless.

I have a few specific problems with these diapers.

1) They come large relative to other diapers, so they don’t fit snugly–given what diapers are supposed to contain, this is a recipe for disaster.

2) They are not odor absorbent. Unlike Pampers, which a racehorse could pee in without anyone knowing, these give off a strong urine smell as soon as they’re “used.”

3) Generally thinner material than other diapers, with some loss in absorption.

4) Despite the looser fit, they seem to have less capacity for solid contents. Just cleaned up a standard-sized poop, and it looked like someone had shoved a dozen burritos into a blender then poured it into the diaper. Almost overflowed on me.

Those are my problems. Now I’ll share what the little one thinks. Since she’s not verbalizing any of this, some of it is conjecture on my part, but I feel pretty good that we’re on the same page with this one. I’ll describe the behaviors, and you be the judge.

Just this morning, after about 3 days of using these diapers, I changed her. She’ll sometimes get fussy on the changing table, but since we switched to these I’ve seen a real upswing in fussiness. Today, in addition to kicking and squirming during the initial opening and clean-up, she actually stood up on the changing table and tried to jump off rather than let me put the diaper on. I’ve never seen her do this before, in a year-and-a-half of diapering.

Once I got the diaper on her, she got even fussier. She ripped the diaper off, went over to my wife, who was enjoying her morning coffee, and threw it at her.

I waited a half hour (during which she was diaperless) and thought I’d try again. “Time to put on your diaper!” I said hopefully. She started crying, “NO NO NO!” and hid under the kitchen table.

So I’m just guessing, but I think she rates these one star.

I could make a snarky comment here about how they should have plunged the money the spent on licensing the Lorax from the Seuss estate into R&D on a more comfortable, functional diaper, but at this point, it doesn’t really matter. All I know is that my kid won’t wear these, so take that for whatever its worth.”

Dave was about to rate the diaper two or three stars, but only decided one was adequate after his daughter started screaming and hid under the table when faced with wearing them. Not to mention that Dave’s wife had a pleasant surprise while “enjoying her coffee”, which I can only assume was loaded with liquor, if she missed all of this diaper racket. I think Dave should take another look at The Lorax, as this company was clearly attempting to perpetuate its’ Eco-friendly nature.

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