One Star Review Thursday III

It’s the holiday season and some people travel abroad to celebrate. Those lucky fucks. If you go to Amsterdam, you need to be careful about staying somewhere cheap so you can blow all of your money on drugs. Some people…learn the hard way.


Dirty and Expensive

“Oh dear, where to start?

The ONE positive thing about Titus is that it is in a good location – just on the fringe of the Leidseplein and in walking distance of most attractions, with good canal and tram links to further destinations close by.

However, other than its location, Titus has no other saving graces whatsoever.

I travel to Amsterdam regularly, and this particular trip was a late-booked, 2-night stay on a Friday and Saturday night. As such, I just booked the absolute cheapest accommodation available (many hotels do not allow 2-night stays, especially on Fri/Sat, so choices were limited), but the Titus was not even particularly cheap! At approximately £80 per night (off-season) for appalling accommodation, Titus has got a good little money-making racket going on!

Upon check-in, we had to pay a (refundable) deposit for our pillows. I mean, really? These weren’t EXTRA pillows, but the very pillows (one each) that we had to sleep on. I’m used to paying deposits for TV remotes and such but have never laid out 5Eur for a lumpy sack described as a ‘pillow’.

Access to upstairs rooms is via extremely steep stairs, which even by Amsterdam standards were neck-breakingly steep. The stairway is dark, dingy, smelly, and doesn’t feel especially safe, what with the holes in the wall and all…

The room itself (in our case a twin room) was pitiful. 2 x single beds more suited to toddlers than grown adults, with extremely hard bases, hard pillows, and prison-style, scratchy blankets for ‘comfort’. There were a broken mirror and sink, and the window faced a brick wall.

Whilst the room had its own shower cubicle (clean-ish, spacious, OK), the toilet was situated on the hallway, to be shared with the rest of the floor. Fortunately, the toilet was situated right next to our room, so using it was no major inconvenience. Unfortunately, it was too filthy for words, stank to high heaven, and was situated in a ‘room’ (cupboard) in which it was extremely difficult to close the door whilst going about your business. Sitting on the ‘throne’, my knees touched the back of the door, and I’m a 5’2” female! The size of the toilet was only a minor issue, though, the real problem was the aforementioned smell and dirt (think abundant poo-stains in the toilet bowl ALL of the time – it had clearly been a long, long time since it was cleaned).

The room rate included breakfast which was…OK. I will not complain too much about breakfast because it was an added bonus (it was the same price for room only, so our B&B rate made breakfast essentially free). The coffee and juice were nice, but the breakfast was a poor variation on ‘continental’…the usual stuff, a slice of ham, cheese, a bit of bread and a hard-boiled egg. Aside from the eggs being gray in color (clearly not very fresh), it was edible and no ill effects ensued.

I’d recommend this hotel to budget travelers only, perhaps a group of friends who just literally want a bed for the night and are none too fussed about hygiene and safety. If this room had been CHEAP, my review would’ve been glowing. Problem is, it’s more expensive than some much better hotels!

Never again.”

Hopefully, they did a lot of drugs to recuperate. Until next week…

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