Have you ever wondered how white pepper is different from black pepper? I learned exactly how while eating lunch only two days ago. “Well, with white pepper, you grind it up real nice, take your credit card out and make a nice line of it. Then you take it up the nose to check the quality.”
I imagine our one-star review this week was just as surprised about her hotel accommodations as I was to learn about white pepper.
“Nastiest hotel in the world. By far the worst I have ever stayed in, and I’ve traveled a ton. My husband and I slept with our bags stacked against the door that didn’t lock and guns under our pillows just to feel safe. There were hairs on the pillows, the bed was ridiculously horrible (thin, bumpy, tiny, and gross). We slept in our sleeping bags, which we, thankfully, had from going camping in the Black Hills the night before. There were pubes on the toilet. I showered in flip flops and refused to ever touch the nasty floor. A negative rating would not be bad enough. People who have written positive reviews are obviously not legitimate reviewers, because there is no excuse for an even slightly positive review. We left a night early even though we had paid for it and still had work to do because it was too horrible to handle. Now we have to go back, and will plan further in advance to get a reasonable hotel. I can’t believe this place is even allowed to operate and it should definitely not be on travel sites like this. You could not possibly spend a worse one hundred dollars if you tried.”
Barricading the door and sleeping with a loaded .45 under the pillow? Sounds like a James Bond movie to me. However, looking at the photos of the aforementioned motel, let me tell you I am surprised Hayley did not write about a serial killer on the premises. This motel looks like Vacancy was filmed on-site.
Don’t subscribe. Or do. Exercise freedom. Next week’s edition of One Star Review Thursday should be jam packed with the best of the worst.